This is My Life

2004-12-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

Two people in the dark
Not thinking ‘is it right?’
Is it love that their making?
Or is it just a fight?

Who are they thinking about?
Pushing, shoving in the dark
Like two animals in a cage
Trying to rip each other apart

Screams in the dark
But pleasure is their pain
She says she wants love
But in the light, it’s plain

To see that what she wants
Is just to be hurt
So she can forget the scars
That she felt first

And he doesn’t want to cause pain
But he can’t prevent
He’s pathetically unaware
Of her sick, sad intent

The night’s finally faded
It’s now still under the covers
And the battle no one’s fighting
Is over

~December 2004~

Magic

2004-12-07T11:14:00.000-05:00

Are any of my blogs "magical"? I really don't know if anyone would consider them respectively magical, but i suppose i would. I remember writing a couple of them and, just like you said, i was drawing a blank but i had to write one for class tomorrow. I'd start off w/ something and it would suddenly begin to piss me off bc of it's sucky-ness. Then i would either ignore it for a little while or re-read it over and over trying to figure out what was wrong and then something completely different would come out of it. For example, my last free-blog was originally written... less than magically. I have learned that it's ok for certain things my brain spits out to somewhat shitty bc, if even one line in the whole thing is ok, some "magic" might happen and i'll come out w/ something that i never would have w/o writing the POS first. It's great when u surprise urself like that. :) Will i keep this blog thing going? ... maybe... just wait and see. :P

Losing Me

2004-12-06T15:21:00.000-05:00

I’m losing myself more everyday
I wake up less and less
I’m worried one day I won’t

At first, it was just my happiness
I was still me
I was still good
But now I’ve lost so many pieces
I’m barely holding myself together

And I’m frustrated
Trapped in a mind I don’t know

And I’m angry
I take it out on other people
I’m afraid of taking it out on myself

And I’m scared
Scared I’ll never get back all those pieces I’ve lost
Scared these holes will only get wider
And for once, scared that these tears will stop falling

And I’m sad
Because I miss me

~December 2004~

I'm sorry for all the things I said. Maybe, one day, we can talk again... but first, I need to remember me. I'm sorry... and I'm sorry to everyone.

This Road

2004-12-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

The road is in front of me. I don’t even wonder what’s at the end. I walk slowly. It’s cold and it won't stop raining. I keep looking back at that house. The windows are still lit. It appears so warm and safe but I cannot go back there. The door is locked and I am not wanted there anymore. So I walk this road alone.

This road has many twists and turns. It rains a lot still. I begin to wonder if there is an end. Every bend looks the same and no matter how much the road winds, I am always able to look back and see that house. I always thought it was such a pretty house. I’m glad I took a picture of it in case this road ends up taking me too far.

This road still goes on, but it’s changed now. I’m more afraid now. It’s darker here and it always feels like it’s raining, even when it's. I fear that I’m lost now and I can’t find help. I can barely see the house but it’s still there. I can’t help but look back. When I do, it makes me wish I had never entered that house.

~December 2004~

Advice no one should take

2004-11-30T00:09:00.000-05:00

Spend all your money on the shit you want so there’s none left for the shit you need
Waste all your time on nothing so you’re late for everything that means something
Get sicker and sicker until you can’t remember health
Spread yourself around until there’s nothing left for you

Make excuses for yourself so you can disbelieve you as much as everyone else does
Do the things you think are wrong until they feel right
Lie to the people who care until they leave you
Truth to the people who don’t so they will too

Love all those who mean nothing so others can do the same to you
Keep people just close enough to know they’re not there
Sit alone in a room full of people so you can feel sorry for yourself
Cry until you drown

~November 2004~

Summary of my paper

2004-11-17T23:35:00.000-05:00

I'm writing my paper about the unfortunate lack of knowledge about anxiety and panic attacks. A panic attack is when someone starts to experience intense feelings of fear. This causes physical sensations too; hyperventalation is the most common. There are different ways that can be used to help patients. Sufferers should try self-education before anything else. Then, if need be, therapy and/or drugs. Many may feel alone; it is important to assure them they are not.

I hate technology!

2004-11-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

I swear, Compaq Presario computers were invented by the devil. My peice of shit computer has, once again, crapped out on me and now it seems to be in a coma. And i'm so glad bc i can't get to my paper that i'm supposed to have for class tomorrow! You kno, what would have been great is if i had atleast put it on a disk! But no.... i didn't bc i was still working on it so i figured it was a waste of time. And you think i would have learned from the last time my computer did this, last semester... and the semester before that... Yes, thats right! My computer has shit itself 3 times within a yeah and a half! Hopefully, this time, i won't need my hard-drive and my memory stick replaced. Seriously, if i have to lose my computer for 4 weeks, i think i'll just shit a brick and die. I'll admit it; i am freakishly dependent on it. Why does technology have to be so ........... LAME?!?!?

I am not a happy girl right now! >:0

ok so i tried to post this on monday night but i musta pushed "save as draft" instead of "publish post" so here it is anyway

That Girl

2004-11-08T23:44:00.000-05:00

That girl, she’s got so much she can’t even see it all. She’s got respect, she’s got beauty, and she’s got love. Yea, she’s got love. I’ve never seen her so happy. You can see it in her smile. That’s the type a girl people want to get to know

Now where has that girl got to? Where is that pretty smile I used to see? How’d she get away so fast? Something must have scared her off. That's a damn shame.

You know, I’ve seen this girl who reminds me of her. She looks like her and sounds like her, but it isn’t her. No, this girl’s got tears behind her smile and she's still got some growing up to do. I think maybe she’ll get there. But for the time being, I sure do miss that old girl.

~November 9~

intro-conclusion

2004-11-03T22:28:00.000-05:00

A growing problem is the lack of knowledge about panic attacks. The majority of people, after suffering their first one, have no idea what’s happened. Many even go to the hospital searching for answers, but leave still questioning. These people should be given information about how or where to find help. There are ways that they can help themselves, by reading about it and finding self-help techniques. There is also the choice of therapy and pharmaceuticals.

By informing sufferers about the symptoms and possible solutions can help to alleviate the fear. By informing them that there is help and that they are not alone, gives them hope. Many benefit from self-education. Others need more vigorous treatments like professional therapy and even drugs.

Feild trip to the library! just like in first grade!!

2004-11-02T11:35:00.000-05:00

While at the library, i decided looked at 2 articles on the topic of film. One was a journal article from Post Script called "Wings of Desire and the value of mortality." The other was a magazine article from Sight and Sound called "The Innocents." The first article grabs attention by stating a belief from an ancient greek philosopher, Plato. The other just talks about an earlier successful film the same director had. The journal article gives more background information about Plato’s idea and assumes you’ve seen the movie “Wings of Desire,” while the magazine just reviewed the film “Finding Neverland.” They establish credibility by giving a lot of details about the films that you couldn’t know without having seen it. The journal makes more of theoretical claim and supports it with info from the film. The magazine just makes the claim that the movie is worth seeing and restates that in its conclusion. The journal kind of just leaves the reader hanging in the end because there really is no correct answer to the question this article posed. This forces the reader to think about it themselves and process the information they were just given. A magazine article would be less likely to do that.

This is the funniest thing i've ever read

2004-11-01T20:28:00.000-05:00

This was a link in my friend's profile, and i know it's probably kinda cheating for me to put this in here, but it's just so funny i gotta. It came from David W. Deerfield II, Ph.D.'s website, a proffessor at Pittsburgh Supercomputing Center. There are a few other jokes, they are near the bottom under the "Greek-type humor" link but this looks like the best one. I actually laughed so much i cried. Hope u guys enjoy it too. :)

A retiring pChem (Physical Chemistry) professor was composing his last exam for a graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored, and with a well kept and wry sense of humor, he set a single question on the sheet:
"Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support your answer with a proof."
He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results, but decided to reward any student who was able to come up with a reasonable and consistent reply to this query.
One "A" was awarded.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. The top student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion on average, we can predict that all people and all souls go to hell on average. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Thus, there are two possible conditions:
1) If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, than the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose.
-OR-
2) If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

We can solve this (de)lemma with the 1990 postulation of Ms. Theresa LeClair, the woman who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, I know that condition two has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and therefore that hell is exothermic."

Hike from Hell

2004-10-18T23:59:00.000-04:00

Mt. Monadnock is one hell of a mountain to climb. I don't know if any of you are from the Worcester, MA area, but if you are you know about Wachusett Mountain; it's more like a big hill. I severely underestimated Monadnock. If I hadn't had my friends to push me along, I wouldn't have made it. On this trip, I fully realized my fear of heights. While clinging to a sharply inclined rock face, I found that the view was more nauseating than exhilarating. And when I finally made it to the top, I could barely look around without feeling anxious. I crab walked half the way down in fear of falling. By the time I got below the treeline, my hands were red and swollen from gripping the rocks. I thought climbing a moutain was supposed to be physically and mentally healthy! This morning, when I woke up, I was so sore I could barely move! Needless to say, I won't be doing that again. Mt. Monadnock kicked my ass, so I think I'll stick to my hill back home.

counter-argument

2004-10-13T22:45:00.000-04:00

In the article "Fear not," the author talks about being able to "erase" fear and cure people suffering from anxiety. I do not agree that it is possible to do this so completely. They claim that by understanding what is makin you anxious, u can eliminate it. But I have been suffering from anxiety for some time and been seeing a counselor. And even when I know what is bothering me, I still can't stop it because the more I think about it, the worse my anxiety gets. They also say that it is possible to use drugs to disable fear receptors. But to do this takes away a part of the human brain that is important. Not all fear is bad. Fear is part of an individuals ability to protect themselves. By disabling fear, it's true that anxiety might also be disabled, but I don't think it is a good solution.

Collage essay

2004-10-12T11:32:00.000-04:00

I've decided to do my research paper on Panic attacks because I have a first hand experience with them. I have already done a little research on them and I'm hoping that knowing even more information about them could help me understand and prevent them better. Knowing more about a problem can help you deal with it. I will also talk about my experience such as what caused my first panic attack and how I dealt with it.
A panic attack is a very confusing experience. There is so much going through your mind during an attack that you don’t have time to think properly. All you think about is how you’re feeling mentally and physically; afraid, unreal and in pain. People come out of them embarrassed and confused, not knowing what just happened and afraid it will happen again. Some even go to the hospital but are sent home without answers.
Panic attacks usually come from big changes in someones life that they just can’t handle. I read about a woman who suffers from panic disorder and could barely make it through her daughters wedding. This was a happy event and it was still too stressful for her to enjoy. When something in your life changes permanently it could cause you to suffer without you even being aware. Then you have a panic attack that “comes out of nowhere.” This is when you really have to look inside yourself and find out whats wrong.
I had my first attack when I was at a very low point in my life; I was suffering from depression. I tried to deal with it by seeing a counselor but it just wasn’t enough. One day I just “went crazy.” I had my first full-blown panic attack. I had no idea what was happening. It felt like my chest was caving in and my mind was exploding. My face got so tingly it hurt. Three of my friends had to just sit there and watch until it passed. They could do nothing to help.
Panic disorder is a more popular disorder than many think. Many people don't even know that they have it. It's sad to think that people who suffer just accept the fact that they are crazy and don't go to anyone for help.

bad bad dream

2004-10-08T22:30:00.000-04:00

I’m running back, scared of what could be. Tears are in my eyes but I won’t let them come, not yet. John calling me, asking me for answers I don’t want to know. I run upstairs and I see them. I know. I see it in their faces and I feel it in my heart. I don’t need words to tell me. Oh, it hurts me so bad.
John didn’t deserve it. She won’t talk to him! Why won’t she talk to John? She stays upstairs with that guy; he makes me sick. Tears stream down my face as I ask myself why. I wanted to hit her. I should have hit her. I should have hit them both.
I’m screaming alone in my room. I’m pounding the floor that I can’t pick myself up off of. I have no strength anymore. I trusted her not to do something like this. Why did she? She makes me sick. I’m crying at the top of my lungs, “She’s a bitch! She’s a fuckin’ bitch!” I’m saying words I don’t want to say. Thinking things I don’t want to think. “They’re all the same. They’re all assholes. There are no good people!” Why are these thoughts coming to my lips? They scare me because I believe them.
I need someone I trust. I need someone to help me get through. But I can’t find anyone and I’m alone. And John… I need to help John. I try so hard but she doesn’t want to listen. Why doesn’t she care? They’re in my living room. I don’t want to look at them. They disgust me! I call her a bitch and I mean it. I slam the door in his face. He’s an asshole, just like all the rest. I don’t want him anywhere near me. I’d rather cry alone.
No, I need to get out! I walk down the street, crying out loud. Its cold out but I don’t notice because I feel so cold inside.
I come back and they’re still there. I try to find a place to go so I don’t have to sleep in that room with her. I don’t want to see her face in the morning. I can’t. There’s no one.
I shower, trying to wash away filth I wasn’t involved in but it still sits in my living room. I feel disgusting. I want to put my finger down my throat. I want to purge all the bad feelings. If only I knew that it would make me feel better. I go out there and I sit in the lone chair. Not much is said. He leaves. She starts to cry. I want to scream but I don’t. My trust has been broken; my heart has been broken. Sleep is the only thing that can save me now.

It hurts more than any physical pain, when someone you love and trust does something you never dreamed they would. Trust is broken and how can there be love if there is no trust. My mind feels so much pain.
This is just a bad bad dream that I can’t wake up from.

~October 2004~

Articles - Claim-Reason-Evidence

2004-10-07T11:22:00.000-04:00

I've decided to look at the presidential debate since i failed to watch it the other night. I figure this will let me know whats going on.

This first site is not really about the debate itself. "Why presidential debates rarely matter" talks about how one debate does not decide who wins the election. I thought it was pretty interesting. The article claims that "one battle doesn't win the war." It gives a lot of evidence to this claim by giving examples of past debates in which the losing candidate severly pummeled the future president. It doesn't give a lot of reasons why this is because there probably isn't much of a good reason why. It's just human nature for people to already have a set decision in mind and no debate can change it for some people.

This site is about homeland security. Each president has several punches for the other but is there any power behind it? Bush makes statements about how things that he did needed to be done. He has his reasons but not necessarily alot of evidence supporting them. Kerry does a better job of backing up his claims. He gave reasons why Bush's plan were not in the best interest and gave some evidence of failed attempts to bring better security to the nation.

This site talks about Bush's ever changing view on why the US went to Iraq. Bush always uses Kerry's indecisiveness againt him and says that he "says what he means." But this article shows us that Bush is not decisive at all. It gives evidence to support this claim however the author does not seem to give many reasons as to why he hasn't made up his mind.

No more poetry for a while

2004-10-06T23:09:00.000-04:00

OK, so i've decided i'm about of sick of poetry as the rest of u soooo... here's something different for a change. I'd just like to tell u all that i had the best summer ever! And this year is going pretty damn great because i've got the best roomates EVER. Mariss, ur my best girl and i hope we never separate! This summer was great and i hope next summerwe can get together more and make it even better. Jackie, u r the coolest and i'm gonna be so sad and miss u so much when u go back to Hawaii! Maybe me and mariss will exchange to hawaii sometime! Anyway i love u girls! Let's make this semester the best it can be!

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeesearch!

2004-10-06T22:15:00.000-04:00

In the magazine article, “Anxiety and Panic Disorder” from Update Magazine, I found that the author seemed to have a lot of reasoning but not a lot of evidence. This may be because he is a general practitioner and therefore has first hand experience but it makes this article appear less reliable. He gives a lot of reasons why people suffer from anxiety and have panic attacks and how certain things will help these patients but he does not give an example of how it has helped them. He makes statements that don't have much evidence behind them such as: "People with anxiety are also more prone to bouts of depression. Anxiety and depression commonly coexist." That is the entire paragraph. He gives no reason why this happens. This article definitely needs more evidence from outside sources. Not just the authors own opinion.

Different

2004-09-28T01:12:00.000-04:00

I was with others tonight
But I wish they were all you
I see them
But none are as good as you
I don’t know you but you make me different
Different than I was last year
Which is everything I’ve wanted to be
I think I’ve wanted someone like you
Someone so different
Talk to me
Come be with me
Be the one I’ve needed
Be the one I think you are

~September 2004~

Research!!

2004-09-23T11:33:00.000-04:00

The journal aricle I found about panic diorder is much more in depth than any regular magazine article would be. They don't have many pictures but it does have some statistical graphs. The article is very long and has a lot of statistics in it and large amount of information. The other two articles I can't look at because they are not in PDF and I have to get them at the library.

An idea for my research paper

2004-09-21T11:12:00.000-04:00

Sleeping alone again

2004-09-19T03:58:00.000-04:00

Sleeping alone again
This bed is so cold when I wake up
I remember when it was warm on your side
I remember when I would wake to your smell on the pillow

Sleeping alone again
This bed feels so empty when I wake up
I remember when I would wake and find you still asleep
I’d pretend I was too so I could stay next to you

Sleeping alone again
This heart feels so cold when I wake up
I remember I moved away when I got too hot
I wouldn’t move away now

Alone again
This body feels so empty when I wake up
I never knew that you filled me until I was emptied
I’ve never felt so empty
I’ve never had so much to lose until you

~September 2004~

I’m sorry I called you.

we're even

2004-09-18T02:42:00.000-04:00

I’m looking to you
But I’m looking to someone else
I can’t forget
But I don’t want to remember
Do u?
I wanna feel with someone else
I wanna think about someone else
I wanna love someone who will love me back
Not u
U don’t care
U don’t know
Don’t know me
Don’t know who I was
Don’t know how I felt
U think u do?
U don’t
I cried
I cried for days
I cried for months
Were u there?
Did u see it?
Did u care?
No, u didn’t
U were never there for me
U were never there to see
Ur gone now
Ur with someone else
Well I’m gonna find someone else too
I’m gonna give to him what I could have given to u
Me
All of me
Everything I got
U lost me
And I lost u
We’re even

~September 2004~

Possible research topic?

2004-09-16T11:23:00.000-04:00

I am interested in doing research about Orson Welles. I was orignally going to be a film major and I am still interested in film topics. My question is: How did Orson welles create one of the best US films in history but have no other known film preceding or following it? Citizen Kane is the only film that anyone has ever really heard of by Orson Welles. This film is extremely well done and is still being talked about today. His other no name films are only menitoned in articles about him and, frankly, they suck. I've seen some of them and none of them come up to the standards of Citizen Kane.

More research

2004-09-15T21:21:00.000-04:00

I'm management major... so I know better than anyone that it's not the most interesting subject. So instead of doing my research on that I decided to do it on economics. I know that sounds only equally interesting to the rest of you, but I have found it to be pretty intriguing since I started taking Macroeconomics. Economic topics effect all of us. One of the most discussed topics now is the rising price of oil. This effects drivers and anyone who uses oil for heating purposes. It alos greatly effects airline companys, and, therefore, the price of our airline tickets. Many company's are suffereing. US Airways has sought bankruptcy protection for the second time. Company's have looked high and low for ways to save on expenses. Some have started using less gasoline per plane than the normal amount. And I would guess that all of us were effected over the summer when gas prices rose above $2. I know that I myslef tried not to drive just to take a drive. This has taught me to be more efficient. I try saving on gas and try not to drive back and forth to the same place several times a week. This is a very important topic for us all to pay attention to.

How i Write

2004-09-14T11:44:00.000-04:00

Since my free blog was a poem, it was written completely differently than I would normally write an essay or research paper. Poetry is all about feelings. U r supposed to write all your feelings down and not cut any of them out. The only trouble is putting those feelings together. This poem did not end up being difficult at all for me because of the topic it was about. The fact that I’d just had a panic attack the night before also helped.
A panic attack is a very confusing experience. That’s why I used a lot of short phrases instead of long sentences. There is so much going through your mind during a panic attack that you don’t have time to think properly. All u think about is how you’re feeling. “I can’t breathe” and “I’m afraid” show up most often because they are the feelings that come to mind most when I have an attack.
Normally, when I write a paper I somewhat follow what Elbow suggests. I write down a lot of material and then cut it down. But I don’t go crazy and write everything and I never give myself as much time as I need and end up getting really stressed.
Actually, I rarely get writers block so badly that I can’t get going again in a few minutes. When I can’t, I just step away and come back in a little while or I try re-reading what I wrote to get “back in the groove.”
I remember first semester, at one point I had 8 papers due in 2 wks. My mind was fried. By the 6th paper I had so much stress, I was in constant pain w/ all the knots in my back and I had so much anxiety I couldn’t sleep. I ended up w/ bad writers block. I would just sit there and stare at the half filled screen and couldn’t write anymore. I was up until all hours of the night trying to write because I kept finding random things to distract me.
I really hate when I distract myself. I would rather write the whole thing from beginning to end so I can keep on a roll. I feel that I am a very moody person and it shows up in my writing. If I feel a certain way one day and differently the next, I’m afraid that my wording and style would change slightly. Elbows approach would probably help me. I could write all the way through one day. Just write everything down and not take time worrying and re-reading. Then I could come back and cut out the shit and revise and it would not change my overall style even if my mood was different.

Whats wrong with me?!

2004-09-12T14:40:00.000-04:00

Creeps up like shadows at dusk
Ready to take me over
I start to tremble
I’m cold
I’m afraid
I know its coming
I’m the only one who can stop it
But I can’t
Not this time

Now it hits me fast like a tidal wave
Knocks me down
Pulls me under
I can’t get up
I need help
I quake
I can’t stop
Can’t stop
Thoughts race through my mind
What’s happening to me?
Why won’t it stop?
Make it stop
Make it stop
I’m so scared
I need air
Drowning in my mind
Water in my lungs
Someone please help me
I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe
I’m afraid

Now I’m left lying, like a lame dog
Weeping and pathetic
Still shaking
I want to hide away to die alone
I heave trying to catch my breathe
It’s gone
Five minutes gone
My sanity gone
It’s back again
I’m still afraid
My mind screams
“What’s wrong with me?!
What’s wrong with me?!”

No answer

~September 2004~

I doubt many of you have ever had a panic attack and may not have ever seen one happen. But this is what your mind goes through during one. I have suffered from panic attacks since last semester. I'm only a mild sufferer. Some people won't be able to go a week without having one and others only get them once a year. I've had only 3 or 4 since it started. But trust me, when it happens, one is one too many. If you've experienced something like this, don't worry, you're not crazy and you're not alone.

My own comments on my research blog

2004-09-09T11:30:00.000-04:00

I think that my most recent blog would have been more interesting had I talked a little more about why I chose to research the topic I did. Then again maybe not because the only reason I researched it was because I had just come from my geology class and thats what we talked about. I guess I could have spent a little more time thinkin about a more interesting topic... sorry if I bored u! :x

Research blog -- The Big Bang Theory

2004-09-08T19:46:00.000-04:00

The following are a few websites with information about The Big Bang Theory.

Big Bang Theory
This source has a lot of information about how our universe came into being. It describes the Big Bang theory and also gives evidence that supports the theory. It also tells us the truth about a few misconceptions and it slighty discusses creation and god also.

The Hot Big Bang Model
This site discusses several different subjects realating to the theory. It discusses how theories about our galaxy and universe devloped and how new information was discovered in the first half of the 20th century. It also discusses cosmology from the standard, particle, and quantum views. It gives information about the four pillars of the standard cosmology and talks about it's flaws. It shows some visuals that also help.

The Big Bang
This gives a very detailed desription of what happened right after the big bang. It discusses how scientists come closer to determining the age of the universe.

Come here

2004-09-07T20:39:00.000-04:00

Come Here

Your kiss, I want it so bad but it hurts me
I can taste the lies on your tongue but I keep comin bac for more
Your touch burns me, the marks are still here
I want to feel your warmth but all I get is ice cold
So come here and kiss me…

Do u taste my salt?
Do u see my pain?
Come here
Taste it, taste me
Touch me
Trace the scars you’ve left for everyone to see
Ignore the tears you’ve caused like you always do

But please, come here
I don’t wanna be without your kiss, your touch
Let me pretend again, for just a little while, that you care
Tell me those lies that I love to hear, and I’ll tell you what I wish were lies
Wipe away my tears so we don’t have to look at them
And I’ll be happy, just because you’re here
So please, come here

Come here and kiss me

~April 2004~

This was written for the first boy I ever really cared about. I never meant much to him but he meant a lot to me. He probably never understood why he meant so much to me, but neither did anyone else. What happened was really hard for me but somehow I still don't regret meeting you.

A few interesting blogs

2004-09-07T11:03:00.000-04:00

Looking for some other blogs to check out? Here ya go...

This woman seems pretty interesting from California. She's got couple funny stories in there.
HUH? WAIT? WHAT?

These two people seem like their blgos will be really f-ing funny to read over the semester.
That Hot Blog Spot

Diaries and Confessions of...

Just incase you tired of reading about my life... but don't forget about me! :)

Why am I doing this? I'll tell you

2004-09-05T14:40:00.000-04:00

Why am I posting my non-exciting life online for everyone to see? Here's a clue. English 202. Seriously, if I didn't have to for this class, I wouldn't be doing this. But since it's required, I'm gonna make the most of it. I'll try to keep this from becoming one of those online journals where people complain about their lives. However, you should be prepared for a little amateur poetry and, obviously, some writing from my course. I'll try to make it intersting.

Intro to Me

2004-09-02T11:06:00.000-04:00

Hey! Welcome to my Blog. Sorry if u got stuck here by mistake... Anyway, my name is Becca and I'm a college student in NH. I'm a business major and I'm planning on becoming an wedding/events planner when I graduate. I'm also minoring in Film. I'm actually from Massachusetts, so yeah, I'm a Mass-hole and I drive like one too. I love movies, chillin out, you know... lazy person stuff like that. Anyway, hope you guys come back again. Lata homeslice! B)